How our default setting is holding us back
The Me.exe programme may be the mind’s default, but it comes with a heavy cost. It was designed for survival, but in adulthood, it often leaves us stuck in loops that prevent us from truly living.
The Illusion of Separateness
One of the most persistent illusions me.exe creates is that of separateness. It convinces us that we are cut off from others and from life itself. This illusion gives rise to a state we call “wanting” — the constant need for approval, control, safety, or understanding.
Wanting is not wrong; it’s part of being human. But when it drives our choices, we become trapped in a cycle of striving, protecting, and defending. Instead of relating to life as it is, we relate through what we think we need.
The Law of Resistance
Me.exe runs on resistance. We resist what we doubt, we deny what we don’t want to face, and we distract ourselves from what feels uncomfortable. This is the law of resistance in action, and it keeps us stuck in survival loops.
– Doubt: Nothing ever feels quite enough. (e.g. “Am I doing the right thing?” / “What if I don’t succeed?”)
– Denial: We refuse to accept what is. (e.g. “It’s not my fault” / “I’m not to blame”)
– Distraction: We chase the next thing to avoid the discomfort of the present. (e.g., moving our attention from games on our phone to Netflix, or becoming unfocused and looking at other people while talking to a friend, etc.)
This cycle consumes enormous energy and keeps us from being present.
The Default Settings
Me.exe has a handful of default lines of code. You might recognise them:
– “What about me?”
– “I’m special.”
– “You owe me.”
– “What’s in it for me?”
– “I should/could/would have” / “If only…”
These aren’t just thoughts; they’re the programme’s operating logic. Whenever something triggers them, attention is hijacked. Instead of actually showing up in the present, we live in reaction.
The Hidden Cost
When me.exe is running, presence is lost. We stop engaging with what’s actually happening and start living through filters of fear, self-concern, or entitlement. This leaves us exhausted and unfulfilled, no matter how much we achieve or acquire.
Reclaiming Attention
The first step is noticing the programme. Each time you catch yourself in one of these default settings, pause. Ask:
– What is so right now?
– What am I resisting?
Simply acknowledge where you are. There is nothing wrong with you, and there is nothing to fix. It is merely to notice where you are, and see that from there, the quality of life is deteriorating.
Even a moment of awareness loosens the programme’s grip. With acknowledgement, attention returns to presence, where choice and clarity live.
Key Insight
There is nothing wrong with having a me.exe programme; you do not need to be fixed. However, it does keep you stuck in survival mode. The moment you see it for what it is, you begin to step out of reaction and into presence.